Mean girls, everyone, male or female, have had their fair share of exposure to this notorious group or person. So many times in conversations the phrase “girls are so mean” creeps its way in and slips off the tongues of our counterparts, or our very own. I admit it, I’ve uttered those words countless times and have openly shared gut-wrenching stories of not being invited to birthday parties, seeing pictures of friends on social media and I’m not included, or witnessing a girl turn a sweet guy down in a not-so-nice fashion.
This got me thinking, who wears this mysterious “mean girl” crown and have I, myself, ever earned that title? Then, I remembered a time in law school when I was dating my husband. I was out with my friends, and was hurt by something my then boyfriend did or said. Well, boyfriend came out later and met us at the fine establishment. So I decided, in my ticked-off state of mind, that it would be best to ignore him. I was just going to have fun with everyone else around him. That way, he can feel the same pain I was going through. Trust me, I am embarrassed to admit this. Writing this story, and seeing the words stare at me in black and white, makes my conscience react on all cylinders and remember even more not-so-stellar moments.
Here’s the thing, I was a “mean girl” to the person I cared about. Why did I do it? I was hurt, and instead of being a mature adult and talk about my feelings, I got sweet revenge. Well, this sweet revenge ended in guilt. The funny thing is, I cannot remember what he did to hurt my feelings, but I sure remember how I reacted. We both did, it’s now a joke between us.
So, I guess, what I am saying, we all can have “mean girl” moments. Some of the time, these moments are reactions to negative feelings we have. The important thing is so recognize these things happen and figure out how suppress that immediate “mean girl” reaction.
Also, just because we’ve made a mistake, doesn’t make us a “mean” person. Things turned out pretty ok for said “boyfriend” and me. We’ve been married over three years and have two little girls. And, as our girls grow older, I’m going to tell them about times my behavior was less than stellar, but also what I’ve learned from those experiences and how I would and could do things differently.
In the end, there’s always time to make amends from when that “mean girl” crown was so graciously placed on our heads.
Boyfriend and me as tired law students ❤