I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot sobbing with my head hung over the steering wheel of my little white Honda Civic. I kept repeating to myself “maybe I’m a weed?” “They” say the first year is for “weeding” out the weak. Maybe that was me? I am the weed ready to be plucked from this bed of blooming blossoms that overshadowed my weaknesses. My mind went down a dark road where everyone else was smarter, more talented, and would definitely be more successful than me, so I should just move on and try something else.
This is how my first day of law school ended, as well as my self-victimization. Yes, a dramatic scene. The summer leading up to my new educational venture, I was so excited and dreamt of the endless opportunities and new experiences. However, once I was surrounded by my new “competition” of classmates, I knew for sure I could not stand tall next to these “flowers.”
After my little pity party, something in my clicked! I had to reroute my thinking. This challenge was an opportunity, and these classmates were new relationships to embrace. Not to mention, the real competition was with myself. I had to challenge myself to look at my education as an opportunity and not a three-year sentence to hell.
The next day, I walked into that law school with a cup of coffee in hand and the adrenaline rush of waiting on something fantastic to happen. Luckily, I did not weed myself out of this legal bed. I may not have been top in my class, on law-review, or big firm material. But, I met my husband, have life-long friends, received amazing jobs I was able to grow and learn from, and the possibilities are endless. And oddly enough, I actually loved law school.
The reason I write about this today is, I have some big opportunities ahead, and I don’t want to end up back in that Walmart parking lot crying in my “mom” car. Yes, it’s scary, I may fail, but I can’t “weed” myself out of the garden before trying. Who knows what I would miss out on?
So, honey baby child, let your flower blossom, stay rooted in your values, withstand the nasty elements, soak up the water and sun, and embrace the beauty around you.